Alyssa Jamison Photoblog

so my neighbor came over tonight. he's is very cool. a virgo. an ex-rockstar in a band, metal-head. making tons of money when he was 17. hair past his knees.

he was walking into our apartments when we were just getting home. he came upstairs and told my boyfriend that he wanted one of his beers he was carrying. of course. so he comes in. and we chat about everything. life. his life. jokes. government. art. cameras. he is a stand-up comic now. got kicked out of the band becuase he refused to be a teased-hair leather guy and wanted to stick with bandanas, hair "the same as it was when you got out of the shower", and cotton. and blue jeans. he told me his first stand-up. a poem. i hate poetry. but this is gold. :

adolensce was great...
that's when you learn to masterbate.
its also when you start to date.
and when you learn what it means to strike out at the plate...
luckily you learned to masterbate.

well eventually time goes by and you graduate.
moved out of your mom and dads house get a place of your own
oh...you still masterbate.
but you'd much rather fornicate.
so you go out to just try to associate.
and you find a likely candidate
hey must be fate
cuz shes turned out to be someone you really appreciate
so you debate
you contemplate
hey if you cohabitate, no more masterbate.

well time starts to dissipate
you start to aggitate
she starts to dissociate
you just cant communicate.

you devastate...
your swallowing down bottles of caopectate
cuz that fucking judge gives her 85 percent of your estate.

so, you intoxicate.
which brings us right back to masterbate.
alright now the words are gonna change

you constipate.
oh sure you can deficate, but you need an adult diaper just to urinate.
and at this point fellas, you can cut out the masterbate...
cuz they cut cut out your prostrate
thanks everybody, you've been great!

- chrisopher potts