so my neighbor came over tonight. he's is very cool. a virgo. an ex-rockstar in a band, metal-head. making tons of money when he was 17. hair past his knees.

he was walking into our apartments when we were just getting home. he came upstairs and told my boyfriend that he wanted one of his beers he was carrying. of course. so he comes in. and we chat about everything. life. his life. jokes. government. art. cameras. he is a stand-up comic now. got kicked out of the band becuase he refused to be a teased-hair leather guy and wanted to stick with bandanas, hair "the same as it was when you got out of the shower", and cotton. and blue jeans. he told me his first stand-up. a poem. i hate poetry. but this is gold. :

adolensce was great...
that's when you learn to masterbate.
its also when you start to date.
and when you learn what it means to strike out at the plate...
luckily you learned to masterbate.

well eventually time goes by and you graduate.
moved out of your mom and dads house get a place of your own
oh...you still masterbate.
but you'd much rather fornicate.
so you go out to just try to associate.
and you find a likely candidate
hey must be fate
cuz shes turned out to be someone you really appreciate
so you debate
you contemplate
hey if you cohabitate, no more masterbate.

well time starts to dissipate
you start to aggitate
she starts to dissociate
you just cant communicate.

you devastate...
your swallowing down bottles of caopectate
cuz that fucking judge gives her 85 percent of your estate.

so, you intoxicate.
which brings us right back to masterbate.
alright now the words are gonna change

you constipate.
oh sure you can deficate, but you need an adult diaper just to urinate.
and at this point fellas, you can cut out the masterbate...
cuz they cut cut out your prostrate
thanks everybody, you've been great!

- chrisopher potts

today i built a colossal picture frame for the art show i am in next saturday at nova 535 in st.petersburg.

right now i am procrastinating aka "taking a break" from doing the 4 large drawing assignments due in beginning drawing early tomorrow morning. im a little over halfway done. i put them off until the last moment because lately i don't feel like drawing. it's not always fun for me. i really gotta be in the drawing mood. i haven't quite figured out how to trigger that lust though. its worse than taking showers.

i haven't been able to see jeffrey, my photo guy at walgreens for awhile so i have about 4 rolls to develop this coming week. should be such a relaxing week compared to this hectic one. i swear. tomorrow evening im having a large glass of wine to celebrate the commencement of this week of craziness.

i just had my birthday. it was amazing. the whole damn 2 weeks of it. i officially stopped celebrating it last night. i got kidnapped to the east coast of florida, went out dancing, went to the beach, hung out with my mom and sister who baked me my birthday cake i've had since i was 5 and cooked me a delicious dinner, i had nerd, blackbird, and rosie all visit me at work and bring me lots of sweets and presents and love, chowed down. got down.







i have a friend of a friend who lives in ybor and rescues dogs, rehabilitates them at her home, and finds new homes for them. she asked if i wanted to take pictures of the new girl who was found. animals love me. animals and little kids. my whole life.

i saw a kid get hit by a car the 2nd day of school. he was skateboarding ahead of me and i was on the phone with my dad. the car didn't stop because of the yield sign and the skateboarder didn't stop because of the cross walk. he flew in the air and landed on his head and neck. i told my dad i had to go and ran towards him. he landed in an awkward position with his backpack still on and pinning him down. there was blood running down his face in different areas and he had this far away look in his eyes like he didn't know where he was and he was trying to get up, in a strange rocking motion and my first thought was, "this is someone's child." i ran up to him and told him to stop moving and trying to get up, just stay still. he didn't listen and got into a sitting position. there was one girl that got to him before i did and she bent down and started putting pressure on his head where he was bleeding. she used a shirt that a girl who was walking by donated to our cause. i was on the phone with 911 screaming at them where we were and what happened. i bent down in front of him and started wiping all the blood off of his face and someone else was asking him questions like what is his name and did he know what day it was. he looked me right in the eye as i was wiping his face and arms off and checking him for any other injuries. i think his name was tyler. he was only 20. majored in biology. the first people to show up were the cops and they made everyone leave who wasn't the driver or us witnesses. i gathered up tyler's broken glasses laying in the middle of the road and tucked them in his backpack. then i remembered his skateboard and inched under the car and laid it next to him. the cops took my witness report as i watched the cop take care of him and as paramedics showed up. then i left and called by dad back. i read our school paper the next day and it said the kid sustained minor injuries so that is good. i prayed that something really awesome would happen to him in the next coming week.

just updated my website again. it's funny. in the world of today there are so many things to do online. it's like our whole life revolves around the computer. these days my to-do lists have 2 columns: things to do out and things to do online. especially now that i am in school.

so my point is, you have to choose your baby. is it going to be twitter? or your blog? or facebook? or your website? or maybe you have a very fancy program that connects them all together?

well mine is my website. i built it myself and figured it out by myself. and pay for it by myself and i love it. it's my love child.

annnnnnd. my walgreens photo boy, mr. jeffrey gave me my favoritest present lately. he gave me a vivatar pz3105. which is the most awesome shit and he is the best photo boy in the entire universe. and shout out to me.... its almost my birthday.... and ive already been kidnapped and given my favorite present to date (besides you sensai , of course. - and the nikon f100 with fixed nikor lense).

go me.

got kidnapped this weekend for my birthday. b thought it was next weekend already and that my b-day was only a couple days away. but it's not until september 14th. :)

it was the greatest weekend ever. we had a room with a jacuzzi in it. as soon as i found out what we were doing i had 2 requests: a one-time-use underwater camera and a mask for going underwater. and really. that was all. i had the best time of my life.

i am back in school now and wow. mixed emotions. going to a large, state college especially in florida means i'm at least 4 years older than everyone and about 90% cooler. i'm in the upper quartial (learned that in stats). stats. psh. don't reeally love math. but my professor is amazing.

i'm taking beginning drawing too. i've never been able to draw anything. ever. nor do i think i've ever attempted to actually observationally draw anything. but on the 2nd day of class, we come in, and she has this whole damn still-life set up in the center of class and she goes, "ok. draw everything. concentrating on line for now. like it's an image in a coloring book." and by gone dammit, i did it! and it looked pretty decent. this week we got into tone and she actually asked me for my drawing after class so that she could display it in the glass display cases around the art department. wtf. stunner. maybe drawing is actually pretty fun.

then, i take sociology. now. i'm pretty sure i was born a damn sociologist. this shit is soooo up my alley. i feel like im in a kindergarten class. and i love it. alyssa jamison: the sociological photographer.

my new job as a bartender is pretty rad too. kinda boring when it is slow, but eh, could be worse. its at a courtyard marriott and i have this beautiful, awesome fancy bar to myself and have regulars and everything. i've only had one dick-hole patron. so far so good.

bask invited me to do an art show that he is curating at the nova 535 in st. petersburg. i was elated and of course said yes. i'm shooting the piece for it sept 19th.

i'm excited to see my soul sister, meagan sample, is back in school too. she's a fucking hell kitten. and i just couldn't say enough good things about that gorgeous ass mother fu@ker.




that is my boyfriend. this is him entranced by his computer playing pc games. he has the best set of lips ever known to man. he cooks food for me all the time.