so i've made a new blog. a tumblr specifically. i always find myself photographing images off the television screen when whatever i am watching shows a super awesome image. i use the camera on my phone and usually pause the tv to get the image. i first starting doing this when i got really into space related programs. i love how gorgeous they portray space. whether its commercials, movies, or shows, i find images that i want to examine more than just a couple seconds. so i figured other people might enjoy some of the images i've captured. click here to view my tumblr: pause tv

i update it frequently and sometimes more than once a day. i made a handy link on the right side of this blog that links directly to my tumblr.

THAT amazing gem was found on my brand new point and shoot camera that Nerd gave me so i wouldn't be camera-less for right now. apparently i got the floor model. im so damn blessed sometimes with the smallest things.

getting myself back on track. i'm having allergy and sinus problems as well as a mysterious, intense pain in my lower abdomen for the past 3 days, but im working through it. had an awesome discussion with mama blackbird at work the other day about living in the moment. i have a problem with getting so hard on myself that im not doing enough, or producing enough. sheesh. im constantly looking forward to the future too. next summer, when im finally out of school, when i move to another city, etc. i forget sometimes that i am living NOW. the weeks have been flying by faster than any time in my life and i have to appreciate the moments in my day now. its rough with school and work.

a had a great dream last night.

it was 1995. the deftones were still trying to gain popularity and were touring. i was 18. i went to see them. the venue was small. the stage even smaller. i think it was a cafeteria in some abandoned school. there was barely anyone filling the floor in front of them. i found myself an empty spot and sat down to watch them set up and sound check. when they played, i loved it. it was visually obvious. i was in another world just dancing, and writhing, and rolling around on the floor. they took a break. i walked out the side entrance into the cool, night air to light a cigarette and catch my breath. i wandered around in the dark, dirt lot filled with cars. there were lights up ahead in the trees so i wandered in to this wood hangout like i was supposed to be there. it was the deftones and their closest friends. i was hoping i could hit a passing joint. everyone was having such a great time they didn't even notice me walk in and take a seat at a table in the back of this large room. it was dark. mostly lit by a string of bulbs. there was graffiti and drawings all over the unfinished, wood walls. everyone was laughing and drinking and smoking. the guy next to me turned around and it was chino moreno. he looked at me and you could tell that he recognized me as the crazy girl on the dance floor. his eyes lit up. he turned and grabbed a spoon and spread honey all over his mouth. then he turned to me and rubbed it all over my mouth and face. then he leaned into me mumbling something about it being a test to see if i am the one for him. we made out. oozing honey all over the place. i woke up myself up moaning. dammit.

i woke up and had tunnel vision on one thought. vitamin water. if i could just stop being drunk real quick i could get on to being hungover. i woke up with a birthday hat on and my best guy friend's t-shirt with a broken watch and wet hair.

thank goodness i could throw a large rock at how close the front door of the gas station is to my front door. i bought 4 and i was just about to open my door and go back to the couch when a little old lady with a red sun umbrella stopped me and asked how close a certain bookstore was to where we were standing. i told her it was far to walk but not a far drive so please hop in my car really quickly and ill drive her there. it took a little convincing because she was worried about inconveniencing me, and not having any money to give me, etc. i nipped all that in the fat butt quick. please come on, my car is right here. im just going to sit on the couch all day anyways and if you try to offer me money again i will be so angry. she told me this was the craziest thing she's ever done in her life and she's done many crazy things.

her name is merl christian and she's from trinidad. she was going to the bookstore to buy her 50 year old son a book on raising children that she saw on tv. she told me her grand kids are unruly. she brought out her wallet and showed me a black and white photo from when her son was 16. they went from trinidad to canada and then down to usa. she lives off a pension from canada and gives half of it to her son every month so she never has extra money. just enough to buy this book. the bookstore was closed so i turned around and drove her home and we talked some more.

we exchanged numbers. she's already called. she's gonna try and take the bus to the bookstore again tomorrow and my house is on the way. she told me she dug around and has a gift for me and wants to bring it to me.

im the happiest girl ever.

i need to shoot. and i need to model. im going crazy. right now my only operational camera is my vivitar pz3105 (35 mm used to take the photos in my previous post). been working on my website some more. hustling in school.

had tickets to go to stone temple pilots last night at the forum and tickets for tonights lightning game against the thrashers but, because of work, i did not and can not go to either. bummer.

so i have a list of things i should do / want to do today in front of me. its says:

- sketch
- practice stats
- model
- shoot
- get some sun
- clean
- edit website
- bicycle

so far i've messed around on one of my favorite new sites: www.studio6.com and stopped by here to procrastinate some more.

i could clean a little bit and then combine: sketch, shoot, get some sun, and bicycle all into one big event.

we'll see.

the art show was amazing last night. everyone i knew and loved was there and shit was wild. ill be sharing photos from it soon.

beginning drawing

midnight carwash

so these are from my newest toy. i love it. i just found out today that sensai got me a cannon digital slr for my birthday. its' just at mike's camera shop in orlando getting fixed. he gives the greatest gifts ever.